Good news, happy campers! Outdoor dining is having a bit of a moment now for unfortunate reasons, and Rolls-Royce thought about those of us lucky enough to be riding it out in mild weather in its holiday gift guide. Finally, we won’t have to suffer the indignities of flimsy plastic cutlery and cheesy disposable dishware.
The Rolls-Royce Picnic Hamper has everything you need to avoid the indignities of packing the same cheesy Williams-Sonoma basket as the neighbors. Handcrafted from oiled teak, polished aluminum and leather, the Rolls-Royce Picnic Hamper includes Wedgwood crockery, handmade stainless steel cutlery and of course, lead crystal wine glasses and large drink vessels.
Rolls says it “embodies the golden age of picnicking, when the picnic was an occasion to be savored.” I mean, what else are we supposed to do while stuck at the winter home? The set includes place settings for four people.
Because “Champagne From a Paper Cup” is better as a Death Cab for Cutie song than a brunch plan, Rolls-Royce also offers an entire standalone Champagne Chest to pack along as well. Perhaps you already have one installed in the Rolls’ backseat, but why dig into that emergency stash if you don’t have to? Besides, if you’re gunning for Upper Class Twit of the Year, doing something embarrassing in public is a must, and more
The Rolls-Royce Champagne Chest is made from hand-polished aluminum, covered in natural-grain leather and trimmed in the same wood used in Rolls-Royce’s cars. It opens with the push of a button to reveal a champagne bottle thermal flask capable of holding most 75-cl botles and four hand-blown crystal champagne flutes “arranged to evoke memories of a V12 engine.” It also includes thermal coolers that sit in little leather hammocks, a removable serving tray, four embroidered napkins and accessories to keep it charged.
Should your picnic include caviar—I mean, why wouldn’t it?—the Champagne Chest includes two thermal caviar bowls each capable of holding a 30-gram caviar tin and mother-of-pearl caviar spoons. You can spec it with either two accoutrement bowls or a full accoutrement configuration with three porcelain bowls. There’s also a snack bowl configuration, should you prefer. A leather carrying sleeve ensures that you won’t sully your Champagne Chest on the go.
Best of all, Rolls says that its Champagne Chest is completely portable and can be used “on the deck of a superyacht or the terrace of your private residence.” Thanks for thinking of the unfortunates who can’t leave their own terrace in these trying times, guys.
Not enough glassware? Rolls-Royce’s online boutique also has an entire Hosting Service option for the rear of the Cullinan that has everything you need to make cocktails for eight adults. It’s best to save that one for after the pandemic, though, lest you look as tone-deaf and bone-headed as a Kardashian.
The Cullinan Hosting Service, best enjoyed post-pandemic.
Should you need a blanket to picnic on, Rolls-Royce also sells wool lap blankets which you can customize to match your car.
Is sitting on the ground for the commoners? Never fear, the Cullinan Viewing Suite features two chairs and a center cocktail table all finished in leather. It, too, opens with the mere push of the button and lets you sit and look out of your Cullinan’s rear hatch.
Is it hot? Well, of course the same people who brought you the in-door umbrella will also sell you an ivory cotton twill Rolls-Royce parasol.
Prices are listed as “on request” online, although given that this is the company that sells a 1:8 Cullinan model that costs more than a new Honda Fit, don’t expect your bespoke picnic hamper to come cheap.
The Rolls-Royce parasol: Like the umbrella, except for weather that doesn’t suck.
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