It’s been less than two weeks since spring officially arrived. Warmer temperatures and more sunlight mean many people will soon hit the open road as vacation season looms. Expert road-trippers know that no adventure is complete without a proper stock of snacks, and Subaru has a new, tasty offering that truly leans into its “More Than a Car Company” mantra as it expands into making jokes ahead of April Fools’ Day.
The fake Subaru Forager Granola snack comes wrapped in a package made from 100-percent recycled “Good Vibes,” which are easy to manifest and perfect for those concerned about their environmental footprint. The automaker says its new treat is “for those who like their snacks as crunchy as they are.”
Gallery: Subaru “Forager Granola” Snack
Subaru warns that while the snack contains nuts, dried fruits, grains, “and the promise of the open road,” it may also contain dog hair that a lint roller should be able to remove. Thanks for the warning, Subaru.
The company knows today’s snacking customers demand endless customization in their food, and Subaru Forager Granola delivers. According to the company, the snack is customizable with any ingredients. The automaker recommends “fresh steam from Old Faithful, crunchy macrobiotic twigs, and even (maybe?) those berries you found in the woods.”
The nutrition facts make it sound scrumptious, coming packed with infinite crunch factor, unlimited puppy kisses (this must be where the dog hair comes from), and super sticky bumper sticker stickiness. Core ingredients include love, rolled oats, organic compost, traces of water from the Grand Canyon…and a big grain of salt, of course.
Subaru even drummed up Moe Muesli, the Head of Texture and Granularity at Subaru of America, to speak on the new fake product. Muesli is also the name of a cold breakfast dish often made with rolled oats, which is the perfect name. Muesli, the Moe, had encouraging words about Subaru’s fake snack, “We know Subaru drivers have a reputation for being ‘crunchy,’ and now we have a snack that is as crunchy – or perhaps crunchier – than they are.”
The snack was supposed to launch tomorrow, April Fools’ Day, but this being a joke, you won’t find it on store shelves. Yes, automakers are looking at new ways to make money in the EV era, but they are focusing on subscriptions, paywalls, and software services, not snacks. Not yet.
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